2Peel apples and kiwis and dice both into small chunks. Place in bowl. Peel and dice orange, removing any seeds, and add to bowl.
3Dice the plums and tomatillos and add to bowl.
4Papaya: peel. Cut in half, lengthwise. Scoop out seeds with tablespoon and discard. Dice into small chunks and add to bowl.
5Finely dice onion, jalapeno and bell peppers (discard any seeds!). Add to bowl.
6Now give it all a good mix. Cover bowl and set in fridge while preparing the bittermelon:
7Bittermelon: Slice lengthwise (don't attempt to peel it... first of all, it is impossible. Second of all, the peel is edible!) Discard seeds by running tablespoon down the middle.
8Dice it. Now, taste it! Bitter, yes?! So, now you bring to a boil water with 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons honey, and 2 tablespoons vanilla: drop the diced bits into boiling water and let boil for 10-12 minutes. Drain in colander and drop the melon into another bowl of ice water. Set aside.
9Take salsa out of fridge. Dice up the tomatoes and cilantro and add to bowl, and also add the lime and lemon juice, and add a few dashes of salt, black pepper and at least 2 dashes of cayanne pepper. Mix.
10Drain your bittermelon. Add to salsa. Also add the rest of the honey. Mix and taste. Probably you will add some more dashes of salt, pepper and cayanne (this is a good salsa to make a little spicy). Refridgerate at least 3 hours before serving; better if overnight.