Bollocknaked Sauce

David Lott


This is a variant of the classic 'Bolognese' meat sauce, for which there are as many versions as there are cooks (especially grumpy 'Italian' matriarchs, perpetually dressed in Mourning, and provocatively opinionated).
Anyhoo, it's important that the essence of this recipe rests on the tomatoes, onions, garlic, oregano, meat and olive oil; all the rest is just showing off.
So the jalapenos, ginger and such are there to lend a subtle zip to the flavour.
Incidentally, 'Bollocknaked' is English English for totally nude. This is irrelevant; it's just a naughty word that sounds like Bolognese.


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One person many times or many people once
1 Hr
2 Hr 15 Min
Stove Top


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8 Tbsp
olive oil
2 large
spanish onions, medium chopped
bell peppers, de-seeded and medium chopped (any colour but red (there's a lot of tomatoes in this); unless, of course, you like red!)
4 or 5*
fresh jalapeno peppers (* optional; depends on preference for extra spiciness), de-seeded and finely chopped
5 or 6 stalk(s)
celery, finely chopped
6 Tbsp
garlic, finely chopped (but not puree or powder)
4 Tbsp
ginger, peeled and finely chopped (but, again, not puree or powder)
2 Tbsp
oregano, dried and rubbed (flaked)
lean ground beef (* 2.2lbs.)
1x 1.8l.* jar(s)
plain pasta sauce or ragu (* 64fl.oz; 4lbs.; 1.8kg.)
2x 796ml.* can(s)
whole plum tomatoes, drained and cut chunky (canned diced tomatoes are too small - they'll dissolve away during the simmering) (* 28fl.oz; 1lb.12oz; 794g.)
2 tsp
lime zest
2x 156ml.* can(s)
tomato paste (* 6fl.oz; 6oz; 170g.)
2 Tbsp
lime juice
2 Tbsp
worcestershire sauce

How to Make Bollocknaked Sauce


  • 1In a 10 qt. (2.5 USgall; 2 UKgall; 9.5 l) jam pan (or similar large stove-top cauldron), get the olive oil just sizzling on a medium-high heat, and fry the onions, peppers, celery, garlic, ginger and oregano. Stir well at first, then occasionally enough to make the frying even.
  • 2While the veggies are softening, add a cup of the pasta sauce (ragu) to the ground beef in a bowl, and manually squidge them together so that the meat is well broken up and should avoid clumping together in big lumps when cooking.
  • 3When the veggies have just softened, add the meat mixture and stir well.
    Cook further until it looks like the meat is no longer raw.
  • 4Dump in the remaining pasta sauce, the lime zest and the tomato paste.
    Put the lime juice and Worcestershire sauce in the pasta sauce jar and fix the cap on. Shake the liquid vigorously to rinse the pasta sauce off the jar, then thoroughly drain this mixture into cooking vessel and stir well.
  • 5Bring the meat sauce to a boil for 5 minutes while stirring constantly, then reduce the heat to simmer gently uncovered for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. The sauce should have reduced nicely.
    Stir occasionally to prevent sticking and burning.
  • 6Use in any variety of pasta dishes; serve over rice or chips (or fries if you're not English); as a topping for hot dogs, or alternative filling for sloppy joes; blend 'til fairly smooth in a food processor and use as pizza sauce, or even as base for soup.
    Don't forget to provide grated parmesan for those who think it's obligatory; also the garlic bread or warmed pita bread brushed with herbed olive oil.
    A glass or two of a decent Valpolicella red probably wouldn't go amiss.
  • 7I usually make a batch this big to split into 2-cup portions for freezing for future meals.

Printable Recipe Card

About Bollocknaked Sauce

Course/Dish: Pasta, Other Sauces
Main Ingredient: Fruit
Regional Style: Italian

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