Wienerschnitzel Chili Sauce

"The real version of this chili sauce comes to each Wienerschnitzel unit in big 'ol 6-pound, 12-ounce cans of concentrated brown goo with bits of ground pork already in it. But after adding 64 ounces of water and 15 chopped hamburger patties to the sauce the magic begins to happen: The stuff transforms into the familiar thick and spicy chili sauce that gets dolloped over hot dogs and french fries for the drooling customers at America's largest hot dog chain. The proper proportion of spices, tomato paste, and meat is crucial, but the real challenge in cloning this recipe is figuring out a common grocery store equivalent for the "modified food starch" that's used in the real chili sauce as a thickener. After a couple days sealed up in the underground lab with Starbucks lattes on intravenous drip, I finally came out squinting at the bright sunshine - victorious - with a killer solution to the chili conundrum. This secret combination of cornstarch and Wondra flour and plenty of salt and chili powder gives you a chili sauce that says nothing but "Wienerschnitzel" all over it even without the MSG. So get out the hot dogs, baby! The top requested secret clone recipe from this 40-year old chain has finally been cracked...."