1Spray yourself down liberally with some sort of industrial strength insecticide; tuck your britches in your boots, wear long sleeves and hit the timber.
2Walk for hours searching out the illusive morel mushroom. They come in the smaller gray or large yellow color, either is acceptable. I find the yellow ones are easier to spot. They grow especially well at the base of rotting oak trees, on "spongy ground" at about the time of spring when the Jack in the pulpits/Dutchmens britches/and May apples are blooming.
3After finding a couple of onion bags (you use the mesh-type onion bags), so the spores will filter out as you walk insuring another crop next year). Head back to the house.
4Dump the mushrooms into a large bowl of heavily salted water, you can split the large ones, leave the smaller ones whole. While they are soaking, take a long hot shower and have someone check you over for ticks.
5Side note: If you find a tick on you cover it completely with Dawn Dish Soap....it should just roll off of you after a bit.
6Rinse the mushrooms thoroughly in fresh water.
7Dump the mushroom soaking water in your yard at the base of a tree.....sometimes you can actually get them to come up in your yard, next year!
8Melt butter in skillet, you want this hot, but not to the point where the butter smokes.
9Crush the crackers to a fine crumb stage. Place them in a pie pan
10Whisk together the eggs and milk in another pie pan.
11Dip the mushroom in the egg & milk, roll in cracker crumbs.
12Fry the mushrooms until golden brown in skillet.....layer on paper towels to drain....enjoy.
13Add more eggs/milk, crackers and butter as needed.