Preheat oven to 350. Melt the butter and mix with the flour and coconut. This will be very thick. Spread this mixture onto a jelly roll pan and bake in the oven for 10-15 minutes, stirring often. Once it is browned to your liking remove from oven. Spread 2/3 of the flour/coconut mixture into the bottom of a 9 x 13 pan. Saving 1/3 for the top.
Mix pudding and milk in a saucepan and cook until bubbly and thick. Pour the pudding over the flour/coconut mixture in the 9 x 13 pan. Let cool.
Layer Cool Whip on top of the pudding. Then use the remaining flour/coconut topping on top of the Cool Whip. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight.