The Pillsbury Boy died yesterday, at age 71, of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The grave site was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemina delivered the eulogy, describing Dough Boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Dough Boy rose quickly in show business but his father was filled with turnovers. He was considered a smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas he was no tart.
Dough Boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had a new dough in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.