APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH
1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .
that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog .. . .
but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour. .
you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining . . .
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .
when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of
the dark . .
to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important . . .
because they demonstrate how many people a company can
8. Why is it that at class reunions . . .
you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..
and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy
(or girl) . . ..
who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins . . ..
the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m. . ..
like, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .
when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where . . .
'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . .
there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .
not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .
we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness .. . .
but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than
in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .
you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't
mind . . ..
and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow .. . .
but it's still a gift.
POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS
BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE