All Jokes, All the Time...

Hosted by Jan W
Group active since Wed, Jul 13, 2011

There are alot of us here that enjoy a good laugh, and we need a place to post those funny stories and jokes so we don't clog up the other groups with them. This can be the central location, a 'clearinghouse' for humor, where anyone and everyone searching for something funny can find it.

Jokes are like takes all kinds to make the world and to make us laugh...there will always be someone who takes offense at something, jokes included. For those folks, I understand your position and all I ask is that if you take offense, please just move to the next one and don't make rude or nasty comments to the person who posted that particular item...we've had that before and the very next time something like that happens, rest assured the group will disappear!!!

You are welcome to post your jokes and funny stories here...that's what we're here for...I'm looking forward to seeing what our members post to make us all smile!

Millie Johnson
Apr 6, 2016

O' the Drama on Facebook ! *** ADULT CONTENT ***

A friend was lamenting about people posting their drama on facebook, so of course I had to respond by posting my own drama in the comments... Now, it was late and lack of sleep had made me a little silly... :D

Oh, you don't know the drama that has been going on at my house. I usually don't post such things on facebook BUT.... I feel I must.... I got tired of dear hubby leaving the toilet seat up and me falling in it during a middle of the night pee break. SO I turned the toilet... I mean table on him and left the seat up when I went back to bed.. after washing and drying my wet a$$............. Anywhooo, he woke up and went to take a dump, sat down and SPLASH ! His butt went in the water. Normally I would have found this hilarious BUT as he was lifting his a$$ out of the water, his hand hit the knob and flushed the toilet.... which proceeded to suck his balls down the loo !!! He screamed and I came running only to slip and hit my head.. because his balls had clogged up the loo and water was running everywhere.
Long story short.... I've got a headache and he is blueballed... some things never change.... LMAO !!! Damn the drama...

Now, of course this was all fabrication and totally untrue... well, most parts of it are ! LOL ;-)

Millie Johnson
Nov 5, 2015

The half-wit

A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator.
"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week plus free room and board."
"The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week plus free room and board."
"Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day, with no days off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board."
"But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit," says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher."

Millie Johnson
Sep 17, 2015

The hired hand

A successful rancher died
and left everything to his devoted
She was a very good-looking woman and
determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little
about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand..

cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the
other a drunk.

She thought long and
hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be
safer to have him around the house than the

He proved to be a hard
worker who put in long hours every day and knew a
lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two
of them worked, and the ranch was doing very

Then one day, the rancher's widow
said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good
job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into
town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily
agreed and went into town one Saturday

One o'clock came, however, and
he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no
hired hand.

Finally he returned around
two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a
glass of wine, waiting for him.

quietly called him over to

"Unbutton my blouse and take it
off," she said.

Trembling, he did as
she directed. "Now take off my

He did as she asked, ever so
slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed
each gently and placed them neatly by her

"Now take off my

He slowly unbuttoned it,
constantly watching her eyes in the fire

"Now take off my bra.." Again,
with trembling hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.

Then she
looked at him and said,
"If you ever wear my clothes
into town again, you're

Millie Johnson
Jun 16, 2015

football humor

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

Millie Johnson
Jun 8, 2015


A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'

HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David Henson
May 8, 2015

The Future

A woman went to visit a fortune teller and asked if her family was going to be ok , so the fortune teller began to go into a trance an begin to speak your children will gros up and become sucessful but your husband oh no! I see your husband dying in a horific violent death! As soon as the fortune teller got those aweful words out the woman paused and then asked the fortune teller "Will i be aquited?"

Connie Brannen
May 6, 2015

The Fire Truck

A fireman is sitting in front of the station when he sees a little boy coming down the street in a little red wagon.He's put little ladders on the side and a garden hose is coiled in the front.The kid is wearing a firemans helmet and the wagon is tied to a dog and cat who are pulling the wagon. As the red wagon stops in front of him,the fireman observes,"That sure is a nice fire truck you got there". The fireman looks more closely and sees that the boy has the wagon tied to the dog's collar and the cat's testicles. The fireman says,"Little pardner,I don't mean to tell you how to run your fire truck,but if you were to hook that rope around the cat's collar,I bet he could pull harder". The kid answered,"I know,but then I would't have a siren".