Cooking in ANY state of mind.

Hosted by Annette W.
Group active since Tue, Jan 10, 2012

Do you or someone you love suffer from Depression, Anxiety, Panic disorder, D.I.D, MPD, agoraphobia, or any other disorder that causes your "state of mind" to be something other than that of which everyone else seems to call "normal". If so, you are in the right place.

This group is for those of us who suffer from or support someone who suffers from any of the above listed conditions but are still very passionate about life, cooking, sharing recipes and just want to vent, chat, cry, laugh, bend an ear or borrow a shoulder to cry on.

My name is Annette, I am 38 years old and I have major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder and D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder) formerly known as MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder. I know I personally struggle finding people who truly understand me and the struggles I go through on a daily basis just trying to find the desire to get out of bed in the morning. That is on the nights I can actually sleep since I also suffer from Insomnia due to the many things listed. I have found great friends and supportive words here on JAP but thought it would be nice to create a group where people could come and hopefully feel safe. Where no one is judging you like so many others do in our "regular" lives. Here, you are free to be yourselves whether you are having a good day, a bad day or a really, really, really crappy day.

I know the challenges one faces in the kitchen when in any of these states of mind and also the joy one feels for accomplishing something in the kitchen as well. Why not share our stories here?

The only rules here are no judgement of other group members, no negative talk of other group members and no pushing political, religious or medical views at one another.

"Depression is not a sign of weakness it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

Hi, Everyone...

I am new to this group and so happy to have found you. To keep my story short and to the point (for now), I am bi-polar, have anxiety attacks when in crowds, and also have perepheral nueropathy. So needless to say, I can have some pretty sucky days.
I hope to find some good friends to share and enjoy recipes with and an occasional place to vent :)

Cynthia Martinez
Aug 20, 2012

Dealing with panic of not being able to find a Dr

This is just ridiculous. My Dr here now is trying to ween me off all pain meds. He doesn't think i'm bi-polar so he wants to take me off of those. He wants to cut back my Lyrica. I know i've talked about this before but it is still luuming over me. My sweet husband helps me out with pain meds but that means he is cutting himself short. The Dr doesn't believe in mental illness. I mean what do you do call all the Dr's around and ask what they believe in? That just sounds silly. Then our insurance is maxed out til Dec so we have to pay everything out of pocket. The Dr is charging $160.00 per visit. I'm used to TN where they charged $65 or $80 per visit. They made everything less if they knew you had to pay out of pocket. Here they are just acting like they don't even want me or my husband as patients. I just don't know what to do. I called the insurance Co again on Fri and they stated the Dr is only suppose to charge what they would accept even if we have maxed out. Why doesn't someone (besides me) explain this to them. Momma went into my appt with me and told him in no uncertain terms that I am bi-polar and I need my meds. He said there is not such thing as Chronic Pain Syndrome. Well then how did I get diagnosed with it. Yes Annette I am taking my magnesium, B-12 and such but pain is pain. Thank God Phiser just approved me to get my Lyrica for free instead of $225 per month. PTL

I'm trying ladies and I hate to keep crying to you but no one else understands. I've been talking to sweet Angela about this so she knows my mental stress this is causing. Just venting ladies. But I don't know what to do and I want my pain meds back. When i'm out I have panic attacks and I don't like that. Plus it makes me want to drink and I am not suppose to in any real amount.

Annette W.
Jul 28, 2012

I'm losing it

I don't know what to do sometimes. I can go from thinking I'm o.k. or faking it to make it which is how I have lived more than half of my life to a full blown hyperventilating panic attack in no time flat. That's what happened tonight. We have the grand baby here. I haven't gotten to see him much in the last 2 months because of some other issues going on with his mom and dad (my son) and now they have split up and it's been about 3 weeks since I last saw him. Anyway, tonight was the first time in his whole life (he's only almost 5 months old) that I was unable to console him. Gamma can always make him feel better. I just place him this certain way on my chest and turn him on my tummy on his side and rock him and he falls asleep. Well not tonight, he was screaming bloody murder. Many of you know I have Multiple personality disorder. Well this caused me go "go away" and my "system protector" meaning the alt who basically comes out when I am stressed or panicked or can't deal with things or so and so forth came to my rescue. The baby was just hungry but I guess I just had never seen him throw a fit like that. Anyway, when I came back around later I was in the bathroom and I am in so much pain today from all my chronic pain issues and then I started thinking about the baby and then I started thinking about the pain and the baby and the pain and my life and how I'm stuck in this body and going nowhere fast and how hopeless I feel and useless and worthless and the next thing I know I'm crying harder than the baby was and in a full blown panic attack. I couldn't breath, I was trying not to vomit, I was sweating profusely. You should have seen the look on my husbands face. It was like something hit him out of left field hard. He had no clue it was coming. I felt this overwhelming feeling of pending doom. When I feel this way nothing else seems like it's going to be o.k. I just lose sight of everything else. I feel like I'm slipping away. God I hate this.

Cynthia Martinez
Jul 27, 2012

Torn Apart Kitchen

Hey ladies, haven't checked in in a while. I just moved from TN to AL/FL right on the line. Just above Panama City Beach area---the true South. It has been so trying.

I'm here by myself in this big old family home. My husbands transfer is on the 17th of August so he will be here then.

I felt like a mac truck hit me Monday because I can't find a pain mgmt Dr here. I ran out of meds and it is NOT pretty. I went to a Dr in PC yesterday and was treated like a drug addict. They said my insurance was maxed out and they didn't take self pay. I said i'm not self pay I have insurance it is just maxed out. Then they said well they could see me for over $600. I said i'm not paying that much to see a Dr to get my meds. Then they suggested I drive back to TN. What a bunch of crap. I've never been so humilated in my life. I found that my old local Dr will take me on Aug 9th only because i'm an old patient. So I have to hang in without pain meds til then. I have my bi-polar meds and Lyrica for the neuropathy plus all the others until then. I hate finding new Dr more than anything It can send you into a panic attack and they don't seem to realize that.

Plus my kitchen is torn apart. Since the house is so old I went in a took all the old family stuff out of the cabinets. Took the doors and hinges off and cleaned like a physco. Now I have to paint everything and without meds that is going to be next to impossible to get done before my honey gets here. I'm eating cereal and yogurt for now. It is going to be a long haul til Aug 9th. Pray I make it one day at a time with self motivation.

Jul 20, 2012


Had the MRI done today on my back & it went ok. I took the valium as directed by the doctor...I was sleepy but that machine was so noisy...I did not rest at all in there...LOL...When the tech took me back--he put on headphones and asked me what kind of music. I requested contempary (sp) Christian, he then said if I did not mind he would place a cover over my eyes because most people that are chlostraophobic (sp) does better if their eyes are covered. He had a nice little pillow under my neck and another one under my knees. He made it as comfortable as possible for me! However, not sure why they have headphones playing any kind of music because the machine is so over powers any music that is played. Right at first just as he slid me in...I got a little paniced, heart was beating so hard, I began to sweat a little, he asked if I was ok and for me to hang in there...but this only lasted a few seconds and then I relaxed and had some really nice time with the Lord. It lasted just at 30 minutes and then it was over. I was really glad when that man slid me on out of I wait for the results~

Annette W.
Jul 16, 2012

Welcome all new members!

I wanted to take a moment to welcome the newest members and to say hello to everyone. This group hasn't had much activity and I'm sorry for that. I was truly hoping we'd be more active than we are. I know it's hard to break out of ones shell and share with others but please know we are all here to lend an ear and shoulder when anyone needs it. This group is intended for those in need of love and support and for those willing to offer it.

I know the challenges we all face trying to get into the kitchen as much as we'd like. I for one LOVE to cook and it's a huge passion of mine. When you can't do what you love, it brings you down. I am a cookbook, recipe, clipping collector myself and lately have been pretty obsessed with going through them and reading them since I have been pretty limited to getting into the kitchen.

I have found when I am in the kitchen, I have to sit at the high top table to do all my prep and then use a high top chair at the stove. I know none of this is related to my depression, anxiety and panic or what not but due to my chronic pain issues. However, the very fact that I have to cook this way and am so limited causes me to be very down. I hate not being able to do what I love to do to it's fullest extent. Thank goodness my hubby loves to spend time with me in the kitchen and we love to cook together. He is a tremendous help to me.

Anyway, HELLO and welcome to everyone and HELLO to everyone who has been here. Let's try and get the group up and running again. I think it would help a lot of us who find ourselves down every day to have others to talk to and reach out to or just have an outlet to vent OR share our success stories with when we accomplish something in the kitchen we are proud of.

Much love to you all.


Angela Lockard
Jul 13, 2012


It has been about 2 and a half weeks since I have been able to even turn the computer on much less enjoy a little gossip with the girls and I have missed y'all and all my friends at my online bookclub.

We moved at the first of the month. The last week or so of June was a mad dash to get everything packed......even though I had been packing the entire month already. I have entirely too much stuff. I can't tell you how many times I've stopped, with something in hand, looking at it and wondering just why in the hell I even have it in the first place. Or found something I haven't seen in years and forgot I even had. Once we're settled I'm rounding up friends and family to have a multi-family yard sale!

So, since the move I've been unpacking all that stuff and finding still more stuff for a yard sale because after unpacking it I discovered I don't have anywhere to put it.

I finally decided that I was long overdue for a break......a guilt free break. I will not sit and fret about how I could be doing this or that. I fully intend to enjoy my day off (from unpacking, anyway) and happily catch up with my online friends. Now, after today, how long it will be before I can visit again is a mystery. But it definitely will NOT be another 2 and a half weeks!

Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! Try to stay cool.